Monday, April 27, 2009

Are you ready for the Rapture?

Did you know that the global climate is warming?

Well, today's Rapture index (166 and rising) is really high. So in terms of a spiritual global climate our planet is practically boiling!

The Rapture Index is a useful and extraordinarily accurate aggregation of all the factors that prophetically contribute to the likelihood that the Rapture will occur today (or pretty soon).

Hosted at, the Rapture Index is apparently put together by Todd Strandberg, the website's creator.

There are 45 categories used to calculate the Rapture Index. My favorite category that is considered to be directly contributing to the Rapture is probably "Liberalism". The site defines this category this way:
29. Liberalism
It's not just a part of the Democrat Party. liberalism is what could be called the "true conspiracy." Liberal media are 100 percent controlled by the forces that bow to humanistic ideology. [sic]
Liberalism is currently at a 4. I guess that's sort of like condition orange.

My analogy isn't very original though. Mollie Ziegler over at used Department of Homeland Security's chart to illustrate her Rapture article way back in 2007.

Just in case you aren't paying attention to the index and you find that you have forgotten your Rapture Umbrella when it arrives, here's what to do:
If you're a wussy unbeliever, and you don't think you'll be able to control your bowel movements during the impending Rapture, you can stop worrying. The folks over at Tribulation Central have got you covered -- with Rapture Adult Diapers as well as other Rapture preparedness items.

1 comment:

Irv said...


For 18 centuries all organized churches and all official Christian theology embraced the "Tribulation Index" (that is, the essence of it without using the label). In recent years a Nebraska "rustler" has been changing it into the "Rapture Index." For more info Google "The Rapture Index (Mad Theology)" and "Open Letter to Todd Strandberg." For some background on "rapture rustling" read "Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty" on the "Powered by Christ Ministries" site. But, pardner, you'd better take some tranquilizers before you lasso any of the above items!